Sunday, March 5, 2017

Replacement Arms

So, last night we were kicking around ideas for replacement arms for my injured left upper extremity. Kelly suggested a peg arm so I could go around snarling, "Arrgh!" like a pirate. Her father said no, that would be like giving me a billy club and free reign to bash heads. It was then suggested I get one with a blade so I could still cut my meat at dinner, although it would be backwards from what I am used to. Kelly suggested a hook. I fear I would be snagging things on a hook, so suggested pincers with a ridged rubberized grip (no butterpincers for me!) John next suggested a multi-tool attachment with a pot scrubber brush, plunger attachment, feather duster attachment, and an assortment of screwdrivers and Allen wrenches, plus the usual things you'd find on a high end Swiss Army knife. I then said, why don't I just go full out Edward Scissorhands?

Dead silence fell upon the kitchen.

Then there were two very quiet, "No," responses.

Chickens. I bet I could keep the cats and shrubbery groomed, open parcels in a jiff, and cut up old towels for rags while watching TV to keep myself busy.

Still they shook their heads.

Instead, I will call up and make an appointment to begin physical therapy so as to get the full use of my left arm back- ho hum! My family is so boring!

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